Posts Tagged Sarcasm
How NOT to use Powerpoint [VID]
Posted by CeeTee in Random Thoughts, Tips and Tricks on March 5th, 2010
I have seen a LOT of bad presentations. Trust me.
I do not understand why people want to pack stuff with a crap load of paragraphs of a thesis, use obnoxious animations like fly-in, sound effects (How can you NOT have sound effects, right!? WRONG!), and the list goes on
This is something that I can absolutely relate to. And I am sure most of you would too!
Will India crumble and fall like the USSR ?
Posted by CeeTee in Random Thoughts on December 24th, 2009
This post is absolutely not biased whatsoever. It is basically what I know about the history of the ex-superpower USSR and what we people see happening in India.
I have quoted my points from the following post:
USSR – Millions of individuals lived and suffered under the seventy-year reign of the USSR, crushed under the dead weight of a stagnant empire.
India – Millions of individuals are living and suffering under a reign of anti-social elements, militants and separatists in a stagnant empire (e.g. Kashmir, Arunachal Pradesh, etc)
USSR – Gorbachev responded to the Soviet Union’s problems by introducing perestroika, or economic restructuring, and glasnost, an element of political freedom.
India – Indian government responded to Telangana’s problems by supporting the idea of a separate state, risking the downfall even further by another 4 regions requesting for a separate state for themselves
USSR – Corruption and bureaucracy was far too entrenched in the economy for legislation to make a dent in the economic crisis.
India – Corruption and bureaucracy has existed in India for decades and will continue to exist, risking a major bust in the economy in the near future
USSR – reformist politicians swept into power in regional positions across the nation
India – Reformist and Separatists politicians and groups are being encouraged across the nation, risking the division of India even further
USSR – Gorbachev’s decision to not use military force to put down revolutions in Eastern Europe further eroded the power of the Soviet Union during 1989 and 1990.
India – Indian Government’s decision to not use military forces to put down separatist groups and militants who create havoc in this country will most definitely cripple the power of the government and could end up giving the nation in the hands of separatist dogs, and the government would be just redundant
USSR – Non-Russian minority groups throughout the Soviet Union agitated for independence during this period. The Baltic Republics led the way in demanding freedom from Soviet occupation.
India – Minority groups in this country have been asking for freedom and a separate state/nation since the independence of this great nation we call India.
USSR – The tensions in the Soviet Union came to a head in August 1991 when a group of right wing military and KGB leaders staged a coup in Moscow while Gorbachev was on vacation in the Crimea.
India – Tensions in southern and north-eastern parts of India have been highlighted by the media to all the nations
USSR – Boris Yeltsin gained international acclaim when he occupied the Russian White House and faced down the threats of the leaders of the coup.
India – India supported the threats of non-violent, hunger strikes by various politicians, hence making them even more popular and gain more followers to support him/her, instead of facing down the threats of separation
USSR – Although Gorbachev was the nominal chief of state, Boris Yeltsin now had immense popular support and wielded more substantial power.
India – Although Manmohan Singh is the Prime Minister of India, Congress president Sonia Gandhi assured that separate state can be provided to Telangana.
USSR – Eventually, after 70 years of struggle, on 25th December 1991, USSR broke down into 15 individual states, ending the reign and power of the USSR
India – Any time now ?
Scary as it might seem, but the trend looks like it could happen anytime. India has prospered in almost every aspect and is turning into a superpower.
Like the English boxing legend Bob Fitzsimmons once said ‘The bigger they are, the harder they fall’. This was very true in the case of the great USSR back in the World War times. With the huge population in this country, I just hope and pray nothing like this happens to India and we continue to proper and live in harmony.
QTP Clean Uninstaller v2.10 [Direct Download]
Today, HP’s Quick Test Pro v10 started acting up with me throwing random error messages and just would not continue my automation tests. I thought that doing the regular uninstall and reinstall would probably help
A lot of forums say that QTP leaves out quite a lot of registry entries and they need to be cleaned up with a tool called ‘QTP Clean Uninstaller v2‘. Googled it and reached the author’s website
Turns out that Mr. Tarun Lalwani (the author of the website) needs you to register to his site and download the 30KB tool. Not just a plain registration, the typical wordpress registration.
I ended up giving my (work) email ID to get myself registered and wishing there was a way to delete my account.
Anyways. This very useful tool is just 30KB – Yes, THIRTY KILOBYTES. And it takes over 7 minutes to register to the site (and verify your account) and download it.
I’m offering a mirror for the tool for those who do not wish to go through that pain that most of us do.
Note: The tool is not modified in ANY WAY and is just a mirror for a direct download without the registration and headaches. If you are Tarun Lalwani and you think I need to remove the mirror, please do comment below and I’ll do the needful
The black clouds over India
Posted by CeeTee in Random Thoughts, Sarcasm on August 31st, 2009
This post is going to be dead straight to the point.
The Indian Constitution states that:
All citizens shall have the right —
to freedom of speech and expression; – You publish a book, you’re banished. You express your views about something and there are 10 people waiting to pounce on you for that political upper-hand
to assemble peaceably and without arms; – Not a lot of Indians resolve to assemble peacefully – We HAVE TO raid public places and beat up helpless women and men. We HAVE to resolve to using the military’s help in one particular part of India – which ALWAYS belonged to India.
to form associations or unions; – You form associations and just look how we have divided ourselves based on caste, religion, region, etc
to move freely throughout the territory of India; – There is intense fear of moving to various parts in India – Kashmir, the North-East, the South
to reside and settle in any part of the territory of India; and – You are not welcome in any other part of India. You get beaten up for no reason if you are a North Indian and come down to Mumbai seeking a job on MERITS
to practise any profession, or to carry on any occupation, trade or business – A certain group of people want a “quota” just so they can get a job regardless of merit. If they don’t get it, they resolve to violence
I just want to start off with something REALLY absurd and illogical.
1. Common Sense - The Maharashtra government is almost on the verge of approving a Rs. 300 crore monument to commemorate Shivaji’s contribution to Maharashtra (and ofcourse to compete with the Statue of Liberty in the United States). Do we not have enough of the millions of Chhatrapati Shivaji landmarks across Mumbai alone ? Are the drought-hit parts of Maharashtra benefiting ? Are the hungry folk being taken care of when they promised the same during the elections? Farmers in the Vidharbha region are suddenly insignificant? Even if you do erect that monument, will it help the tourism industry in any way?
2. The right to free speech – one of the basic ideologies in the Indian constitution – does not work. You publish a book, you get thrown out or get beaten up. You dont get an opportunity to “gel in” if you are not from that particular part of India and of course you get beaten up to a pulp for no fault of yours. The politicians somehow have this right to free hate speech for the wrong reason, and they get let out with a mere warning and a bail of Rs. 2000. RIDICULOUS !
3. Sports is not just about Kho-Kho, Kabbadi, Cricket and Hockey. The sports ministry says that Formula 1 is not sports since all you do is watch and cheer on to a specific group of people. Isn’t that ALL you do with Cricket, Football, Hockey, The Olympics, etc ? Dont you just sit and cheer on to your favorite team hoping they win ? Sports is supposed to be a recreational activity, not only just for self-development.
4. Fear – It took them more than 15 years to sentence the Mumbai 1993 blast suspects. Ajmal Kasab is still not sentenced. The D-Gang is still on the loose. Death threats to lawyers from within India itself. Goondas roaming free (most of which have turned politicians) with a crisp salute from the highest police official if he/she passed them by. If India has the proof, why not invade the responsible country like how the United States did in Iraq and Afghanistan (though they did not have a firm reason to go to war)
5. Literacy – About 60% of India is educated up to the 4th grade or less. You say if you are bought to power, you will erect schools in villages, etc. But are you enforcing it ? The people who are unfortunate enough not to be educated are still under the impression that a girl is supposed to be married off anyways, so why educate ? Are you doing something to change their thinking ? Child marriage still exists and that shit is glamorized and shown on TV with the educated folk just sticking to the serials like super glue thinking it is entertainment. If you want to show the current situation of rural India, DO NOT glamorize it.
6. Religion is the very root of violence and the discrimination in this world. Brutal killing, senseless banishment of certain folk, etc. I have heard so many people say ‘There is a supernatural power beyond the clouds looking over you’ and you feel nice that someone is ‘looking out’ for you. BLIND FAITH and HOPE rules our sanity. To some extent it is acceptable, then it just crosses the line (you are free to interpret this line with your experiences). Certain people take unfair advantage of you just because he is of the same ‘kind’ as you are, just to be in power. Did you forget about the Mumbai riots, Godhra riots, plight of the Kashmiris, etc ? Even the local discrimination in your own neighborhood should be enough to prove to you that religion SURELY is the root of all this nonsense.
7. Racism – We say Australia is racist just because there were a handful of incidents against Indians studying or working there ? Have we ever thought how racist we are ourselves ? We pass by a tourist and we call him a ‘Gora’ or a ‘Kaaliya’. A Gujrati, Sindhi, Marathi, Bengali also have their own stereotypically racist words. Heck, we are SO racist, that even if we are of the same cast, we go beyond that, just for our satisfaction.
8. Economy – We say that the inflation is negative, yet we feel the pinch of the cost of general food items rise to no limit ? Do you know why ? A recent study in the Times of India newspaper has revealed that the inflation is still being calculated on Vanaspati Ghee, Cibaca tooth paste, Keo Karpin hair oil, Sansar detergent powder. If you are born after the year 1985, you might have this blank look on your face that you’ve never heard of such ‘BRANDS’. Right ?
9. Technology – The world has gone so far ahead in the world of Technology and Science. What are we waiting for ? All we see is the 3G auctions getting pushed for no apparent reason. And now the government says that India is looking for 4G. RIDICULOUS ! The average internet connection in India is just over dial-up speeds. We are still 25 years behind in the world of healthcare technology.
10. Corruption – Another sad issue that rules the entire country is Corruption. If a person gets pulled over and has his driving license confiscated, I DOUBT there would be hardly a fraction of a percentage of people who would go to court, pay a fine and get on with their lives. We encourage it for our own convenience, to get an unfair advantage over someone, or just to get our work done
In short, a LOT has changed over the past 20 years (half of which I dont even remember) and India surely has moved on. But the nation still ends up to the dogs. The mentality of the new-age India has changed. So should the ‘political veterans‘.
If you have seen these issues, you should be able to relate to what I am saying. Feel free to drop in comments.
Antichrist [Movie Review]
Antichrist is BY FAR the most retarded “horror” movie ever. A woman freaks out something she does not know. SHE IS THE ANTICHRIST.
CeeTee Rating – 0/5 stars
Top 10 categories of people who piss me off
Here’s a brief list of people who just don’t fail in pissing me off
1. People who send you 2MB BMP attachments
2. Those who try to find a way past you by going through the 10 inch gap between you and the person you are talking to
3. People who cross the roads like goats and sheep. They think they will pass through without the driver knowing
4. People who eat my food
5. Those who keep right clicking the desktop and clicking Refresh. It just does not do anything!
6. People who have their annoying twittascope feed on twitter
7. Those who swear by Internet Explorer still being the awesomest browser EVARRR
8. People who swear by Linux being the solution to all our computer problems. Just install it once and see the hairfall count go up exponentially just to get the fucking MP3s working on a Linux Distro
9. Those who dont know about or like LOLcats
10. Those who don’t read the fucking URL properly and get phished
My take on Swine Flu
You’ve probably had:
1. Bought a mask and went underground like a little bitch
2. Trying to take precautions against air-borne diseases
3. Had enough with the media coverage and did not give a damn and carried on with your life
I stand by point #3 here. Let me explain.
There are 6 billion people in this world (give or take a billion – Thanks to India and China). There are about 1.1 billion people in India alone (The assumption is ALL thanks to http://censusindia.gov.in/ and http://www.censusindia.net/ for crapping-out on me at the time of writing this post)
Im assuming that there is atleast a 10% population with HIV/AIDS. Another 3-4% of people with TB and about 5% of population with other terminal diseases
And just 10 deaths out of 1.1 billion people (turns out to be 0.0000001%) contracting and dying of H1N1, and India starts to freak out. What is the Government doing ? They want to have only a handful of government run hospitals “authorized” to offer mediation and treatment.
If you are declaring a “Pandemic” as stage 6 (the Boss stage where he kicks your ass – Remember Super Mario Bros ?) and not doing anything about it, that’s just stupid.
Is the Media helping ? Well, to some extent yes. But I feel they are going a little overboard with this TRP bullshit
Is the Indian government doing anything about it ? Not that I can think of. Remember the alert issued in China when Bird Flu hit ? Do you have ANY idea how the Chinese government contributed just so the public is safe ?
We are a nation of hypocrites where a budget of Rs 550 crores is APPROVED for erecting statues which is DOUBLE of the budget approved for getting water to the drought-hit areas (Rs 250 Crores) – Yes, we are letting retards like her run the country.
The medical shops are selling the N95 (I think that’s what they are called) masks for DOUBLE the price, just to cash in on the opportunity. Tamiflu is being popped like a little kid feasting on M&Ms (from what I’ve read) – Dont be stupid. If you think you are a recipient, get yourself checked and THEN pop the medication.
Let’s hope the vaccine that’s being developed works, else we get to see more of “REAL NEWS” rather than the bullshit they show on India TV (which I honestly miss)
Moral of the Story: Be nice to your food. Dont mess with their heads so much that they hit back
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